


thoughts and dreams that scatter

by wintersweather



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: Karaoke, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 10:14:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15386553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersweather/pseuds/wintersweather
Summary: that sleepwalk should be over by now, i know





	thoughts and dreams that scatter

**Author's Note:**

> title/excerpt comes from "you make my dreams" by hall and oates!
> 
> i don't kno why brian took his and jonah's cover of this down, bc it went the hell off

When the Polygon groupchat talked about "going out" on a Friday night, Pat should have _known_ Brian was going to suggest karaoke. He should've anticipated Simone's enthusiastic agreement, should have seen Jeff's eager reply. Even Tara said she'd come along. 

Pat didn't want to be _that_ person, so he sent a thumbs up emoji, and now he was uncomfortable in a karaoke bar somewhere in East Manhattan, sitting on a zebra print couch and watching other locals sing their hearts out on the raised platform that was billed as a stage.

Brian sat at his left, sipping water and cheering for everyone who went up there. It didn't matter if they were good or not, Brian just seemed excited to be there. Simone, Jeff, and Tara had all turned up, and - much to Pat's surprise - Allegra came (though adamantly refused to sing). 

Brian had already signed himself up to sing, which really didn't come as a surprise to anyone. Perhaps a little bit more shocking was Jeff and Simone writing themselves down for a duet. Tara offered dry support to her employees, but didn't make a move to put herself out there. Neither did Pat.

It wasn't that didn't _want_ to - because he did - it was just that he knew he would be bad. And then he'd probably maybe get booed, even though no one had booed anyone yet. And maybe he would just throw up or something, and that would be bad for everyone involved. So he kept himself wedged between the cushions of the couch and held onto his bottle of beer while his coworkers chatted over the music.

Simone and Jeff took the stage with a dissonant rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". Jeff barely got his first two lines out before laughing at Simone's dramaticized impression of Diana Ross. They weren't very good, persay, but what they lacked in talent they made up for in charisma. The other patrons seemed to enjoy it though, and the building was filled with applause as they took a bow.

"That was absolutely horrible," Tara said as they came back to the couch, breathless from laughing. "I loved it." She continued, smiling into her drink.

"We fucking OWNED, Tara!" Simone answered, full volume. "Anyway, Brian is about to blow us all away."

Brian smiled, pushing his hair away from his face. "Nah, c'mon. How can I beat the musical stylings of Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye?" He said, setting his glass on the table before rising to his feet. "I'm gonna give it a hell of a try, though." He added, shooting Simone and Jeff finger guns. 

Pat felt his heart constrict a little bit in his chest at the gesture. He wished Brian wasn't so pretty and nice and funny and eccentric and all the other things that made him probably the best person Pat had ever known. On top of it all, he was talented, which was just unfair, honestly.

Brian was natural onstage, in front of a crowd. He seemed comfortable up there, mic in his hand, as the opening chords to "You Make My Dreams" rang through the karaoke bar. He looked like he was having fun already, and a small part of Pat wished he could be up there with him.

He was filled with the unsavory mix of dread and anxiety at the mere thought of it, but somewhere deep down he wanted to be at ease around crowds, to sing like it didn't matter if he was good or not, to be just a little bit more like Brian.

Brian didn't care if anyone thought he was good. Of course, he was, but it didn't matter to him. Pat admired that kind of mindset. Maybe someday he'd adopt it, but not today.

Allegra pulled him out of his thoughts with a tap on his shoulder. "Just a question: when do you think you're gonna stop making heart eyes at Brian and like, ask him on a date or something?" She whispered, grinning.

Pat grimaced at her words. He'd never really admitted to his crush, but Allegra knew him well enough to see through him. "Uhh, let me think about it." He said, pausing for a moment to listen to Brian hit a long note. "Yeah, never. That seems about right."

Allegra rolled her eyes. "Come on, Pat. If I have to spend one more day around you pining over Brian David fucking Gilbert, I'm gonna have to kick your ass. You know that." She said matter-of-factly, like Pat should've known that already. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Do you really want me to answer that? I could think of like ten worst things. I could write you a small novella of worst things that could happen." He answered, letting out a long sigh. 

"Pat." Allegra said, her expression serious. "Sometimes, you gotta take chances. I feel like this is one you should take, and I'm a Sagittarius, so I know these things." She added, cracking a smile. 

Pat took a deep breath and held it. Allegra was always right, which was a little frustrating. He let his attention slip back to Brian, who was finishing up his performance as the audience cheered loudly. Brian, who he could lose if he said one wrong word. He wasn't convinced it was worth it. 

Brian came back to the couch, reclaiming his seat to Pat's left. As a new conversation started amongst them, Pat began to feel a little suffocated by all the noise and by the argument in his head, so he decided to go hang out in the bathroom for a little while.

It was a nice bathroom, at least. The lights above the sink were magenta, adding a retro ambience to the room that Pat quite liked. He looked at the mirror and his reflection looked right back at him, tired and anxious. He tilted his head left and right, studying himself in the glass.

He wasn't sure how long he'd be in there by the time the door opened. Pat jumped, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks in embarassment as he saw Brian standing there. Brian smiled, stepping closer. "Hey, you alright?

Pat nodded, trying to come off as calm. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just - it was really loud out there."

Brian nodded back, leaning his head against the wall. "For sure. You've just been sorta quiet all night. so I was just wondering."

"I'm okay. Just not a whole lot to say, y'know?" Pat said. He hoped Brian wasn't even a fraction as observant as Allegra.

If he was, he was willing to drop the subject. "I know how that can be." He answered, moving a little closer to stand beside Pat. He turned to look at them in the mirror, still smiling slightly.

Pat looked tall next to Brian. It was strange to see them next ot each other like this, the pink light washing over them. Brian's features looked harsh in the hue, a contrast to how soft he usually looked.

"You're so gorgeous." Pat said, voice barely above a whisper. Immediately after he said it, he wished he could take it back.

Brian's eyes shifted, focusing on Pat's reflection. His expression didn't change much. "So are you." He answered, equally as quiet.

They fell into silence. Pat wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

The music of the club pumped through the walls, sounding muffled and strange. Brian rocked back and forth on his heels, humming along. 

"Ever been in love, Pat Gill?" Brian spoke up finally, glancing over at real Pat.

Pat took a breath. "Maybe. Have you?"

Brian nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I never realized it until right now." He said, turning back to the mirror. He hesitated before resting his head on Pat's shoulder. 

Pat took a moment to process his words. "Really?"

Brian nodded minuely. "Crazy how that happens, huh?"

"It really is." Pat answered, wrapping his arm around Brian's shoulder. Brian looked small in the reflection. 

"Wonderful how it happens, too, though. Right?"

Pat tried to force the smile away from his face. "Yeah. It really, really is."

**Author's Note:**

> look i'm sorry i just don't know how to Not write story after story of them falling in love. also i fucking love hall and oates.
> 
> also also, i went to warped tour on the 19th and i am still sorta recouping from it? so sitting down and writing was really nice! 
> 
> also also also i have a tumblr @easterntimecryptid in case any of yall wanna drop by and say hello! i never really reblog anything but i love to lurk and i also love to run my mouth, so


End file.
